Her Sweetest Downfall
by unfertilizedeggs
Summary: But then he'd remember that he had to be enough for her. He was all she had now. And it was all his fault.
1. Chapter One

**Disclaimer:**** I don't own them; I'm just borrowing them.**

**Summary: ****But then he'd remember that he had to be enough for her. He was all she had now. And it was all his fault.**

**A/N:**** This story is completed so it's just a matter of me remembering to update here. If I forget, PM me and I'll push one through. It's really short; only 5 short chapters. It was meant to be something to get me writing again so it's not much. And I'm afraid I lost interest rather quickly so it dwindled. I apologize for the suckage. I'm an angst whore, if you didn't know, so be prepared. Reviews are better than a shirtless Jason Morgan. *drools* [thumbs up]**

**Her Sweetest Downfall**

He pushed the button for the elevator and stood patiently waiting. It had been a long, exhausting day and all he really wanted to do was lay in their bed with her laying protectively in his arms, snuggled to his chest. She was the one thing in this world that brought him peace yet tormented him at the same time. It wasn't her fault, he knew, but it still wasn't easy on him.

At night, he liked to hold her, watching her peaceful face surrounded by her dark hair, and just remember. He never thought his heart could hold so much love for a single human being but every time his eyes met hers, his chest swelled with so much love it felt like his heart would burst. Other times, he'd watch her while she was oblivious to him there, and the pain radiating through his body would be so strong, he'd have to leave the room, the overwhelming sense of loss becoming too much for him.

Most of the time, he knew he wasn't enough for her. For the last couple of months, his business had changed. He was no longer Sonny's enforcer but rather he sat behind the desk and took care of the behind the scenes stuff. It wasn't enough yet, but he was working toward getting out altogether. But still, some days, like today, he had to work late. And he knew it was far from enough. But then he'd remember that he had to be enough for her. He was all she had now. And it was all his fault.

_The day had been a quiet one, which wasn't usually a good sign in his line of business, but he was grateful for it anyway. For hours, his concentration was lacking, his mind too preoccupied with the brunette waiting at home for him. The past couple of months had been strained between them, the tensioned rolled off in waves, a repercussion of the news that Dr. Meadows had delivered._

_Sam wanted a child more than anything, and at first he was weary on it, but eventually he realized it was what he wanted too. More than anything he wanted to see her pregnant and happy again. This time with his child. And now their hopes were temporarily crushed._

_One year._

_They had to wait a whole year to get pregnant. And Sam had been devastated. She was ready to throw caution to the wind and tempt fate anyway. She wanted a baby. But he couldn't chance it. Not if it meant putting her life and their child in danger. And he couldn't image his life without her in it anymore._

_She hadn't been happy with him. He knew she was just upset in general and he was the closest person for her to lash out at. He hadn't taken any of it personally. But he wanted her happy. And he wasn't sure she was anymore. With a heavy sigh, he unlocked the door and tossed his keys onto the desk.  
_

_He glanced up and immediately noticed her standing near the pool table, her gaze connecting with his and never wavering. She didn't say anything, just stared at him in silence. It was all that he needed anyway. Her eyes gave her away, every single thought and emotion ran ramped behind her big brown eyes and a bundle of nerves settled in the pit of his stomach._

_He saw her apprehension, her fear, and her hope. But above all, her joy. And he knew it was exactly what she was feeling because he was feeling it too. He knew without her having to say anything, but he still needed to hear her say it._

_When her eyes filled with tears, he remembered everything. The phone call from Dr. Meadows. The arguments. The tears she had shed. The one passion filled, unprotected night that would forever change his life; that threatened everything he knew he needed. He remembered and an intense fear wrapped itself around his heart. He had been through fires, faced down bullets, and battled in war after war, but he knew he was about to face the biggest fight of his life. Keeping her alive._

_He swallowed thickly, his throat suddenly dry. He wanted to say something but he wasn't sure what to say. He was happy but he felt like he shouldn't be. He was scared to believe that everything would be okay. Because if it wasn't.._

_He opened his mouth to tell her that he needed to hear her say the words but she nodded her head, cutting him off. She knew but she still hesitated. Apparently, he wasn't the only one who knew just how much this was about to change everything. It was what she had wanted but the fear still stood out in her eyes. She briefly closed her eyes and took a calming deep breath. And finally, the words that would forever change them both._

_"I'm pregnant."  
_


	2. Chapter Two

**Disclaimer:**** I don't own them; I'm just borrowing them.**

**Summary: ****But then he'd remember that he had to be enough for her. He was all she had now. And it was all his fault.**

**A/N:**** I know. I'm a fuck for not updating sooner. I really do just suck at it. It completely slips my mind so somebody PM me next time. Here's the next short chapter. Please excuse any and all typos. I'm a lazy ass when it comes to this story because it's been finished forever and I don't want to touch it anymore. Hope you enjoy. And thank you times a million to everybody who left a review last chapter. You're the best and I hope you do it again. Reviews are better than Bob Guza being replaced. :)**

**Her Sweetest Downfall  
Chapter Two**

_They had been walking on eggshells around each other for days, unsure how to approach the unspoken subject. Sam was pregnant with his child. And the possibility that their baby wouldn't make it into the world was too great for comfort. The night she had first told him she was pregnant, he had wanted to talk, but she had silenced him with her lips. She had mumbled something about just being together, celebrating the life inside of her, the life they had made together, for one night before the reality of it all sunk it. They had spent the entire night in bed together, making love, forgetting the looming threat hanging over their heads, and getting lost in each other._

_But the reality couldn't be ignored anymore. They needed to talk about what they were going to do. How could they keep the baby, knowing that the pregnancy had potential to end in disaster? But how could they terminate it after everything they had already lost?_

_"Jason," she tentatively put her hand on his shoulder. His left hand came up and squeezed hers, offering the only support he knew how. He guided her around to sit next to him on the couch, ready to face the situation. "Talk to me," she pleaded, her eyes already bright with unshed tears._

_"I don't.." he trailed off. Silence settled between the two as she waited patiently for him to figure out what he wanted to say. He swallowed passed the lump in his throat and continued, "I don't know what to say. Sam, I know this is what we wanted, but you know what Dr. Meadows said."_

_She nodded, acknowledging that she was too aware of the risks. But one look into her eyes, and he knew that she had already made up her mind. Nothing he could say or do would change the outcome. "I can't.." she paused to wipe the tears that had spilled over her cheeks. "Jason," she sighed and reached for his hand, "I'm keeping the baby. We have to at least try, right?"_

_She was pleading with him to agree and he did. It didn't make the situation any easier though. He nodded his head, "Right." He heard her sigh out in relief but he continued anyway, "But you do understand that we can lose the baby anytime, right?"_

_He hated to say it, and he hated it even more when her bottom lip quivered as more tears fell down her face. She squeezed his hand in reassurance, or perhaps seeking comfort, "I know."_

_And that was it. He knew whatever was to come, they'd deal with it._

_Together._

Jason sighed and shook his thoughts away as he stepped off the elevator. He patted his pockets down and found his keys before unlocking the door and quietly shutting it behind him, afraid to disturb the peace that seemed to blanket the penthouse. The peace that hadn't been there in what seemed like forever.

Quiet footsteps descending the stairs behind him alerted him, and he turned around to face his best friend. Her eyes mirrored his own sadness and his shoulders slumped over in exhaustion. "Jase," she started and he shook his head to keep her at bay. He wasn't in the mood to be comforted by Carly. He loved her, but she couldn't make it easier or better. She nodded in understanding and gathered up her coat and keys, "She's asleep." Her voice was nothing more than a whisper but he heard her.

His eyes glanced toward the stairs before looking back toward Carly. "Where?" His voice was raspy and unused, something she had gotten used to hearing from him.

The sympathy radiated in her eyes, knowing how much he hated going into that room, knowing the memories that they brought up for him. "She's in the nursery," she whispered again and when he didn't respond, she walked passed him, squeezing his shoulder in what she hoped was an offering of comfort, and quietly exited the penthouse.

He stood there staring at the stairs for a few moments before shrugging off his coat and slumping it over the back of the chair. He had avoided the nursery as often as he could, only actually entering the room when he had no choice. Like tonight.

He remembered when she had been so excited to decorate it; so determined to make it perfect. For _their_ baby. They had painted together, something she demanded she be apart of. In the end, most of the paint had ended up on themselves. They had had fun and ended up making love right there on the floor before deciding that painting would have to wait for another day.

Jason shook his memories off once again, knowing that it wouldn't be anything like that this time when he went into the nursery. Everything was different now. And he was reminded as much the minute he walked through into the nursery.


End file.
